The Virtue of Shutting Up

For years and years I wanted to be the person who was brave enough to say things that needed to be said. I try to stand up for people that seem to need standing up for. I try to not let myself be bullied. I try to not let anyone get away with manipulation.

This is a process that is not well received. I've found that even when I think I'm being helpful to someone, both the person I'm speaking to and the person I'm trying to help are unhappy about it.

So, it's a little curious why it took me so long to figure this out.

Recently I realized that if someone else says or does something atrocious, my best and most gracious response may be to say nothing at all. It had simply not occurred to me in the past that other people might occasionally say things they regret and they will realize their comments are regrettable ALL ON THEIR OWN.

This system is faaaaarrrrrrr superior to my prior method. Previously, I'd be in the company of someone rude and/or crazy and would plan to defend myself or others. At the end of it, we both just ended up looking rude and/or crazy.

It seems that if a person is a jerk, I have the option of leaving it alone. I can be still about it. I can say nothing. And, (here's the part that stuns me) it's actually better.

Doing Not! One! Thing! is actually GOOD for my PR. How can this be?????? I have no idea.