The One in Which I Realize I Talk More Than I Ought

I have a vivid life that goes on inside my head. Inside My Head Denise lives very differently than Real World Denise.

Inside My Head Denise imagines as she blogs (that's "BLOGS" and not "GLOBS" as my fingers tried THREE times to write instead of BLOGS)that she's doing lots of good with her posts.

Inside My Head Denise types and types and thinks:

"Wow, this is great stuff. This is going to speak to people. Others will read this and say to themselves, 'That's just like me! I feel that way, too! I'm so glad she wrote this!' "

This is different from the experience of Real World Denise (who often takes far too long to remember that Real World Denise and Inside My Head Denise are not identical.)

The blog experience of Real World Denise is:

People reading this post think, "You poor dear, I'm so sorry that you're not a competently functioning human. Please accept my advice and get yourself some professional help. Or some Percocet. Also, consider keeping more of your thoughts private."

Inside My Head Denise thinks she can save the world one blog post at a time. Real World Denise is, in fact, making the world think she's crazy one blog post at a time.


But, this post is about my larger problem which is: Words.

Inside My Head Denise thinks that words fix things. She wants to throw words at problems and turn them into non-problems. Inside My Head Denise FEELS a need for words FREQUENTLY.

When a person is troubled Inside My Head Denise says to herself, "There is someone who is troubled. I should put some words on that." Inside My Head Denise doesn't always know the right combination of words. She's not always certain which direction the words should be pointing or how many words are appropriate. Sometimes she's lucky to happen upon the right TONE for the words, whether or not the words themselves are correct.

So, Inside My Head Denise throws out words with a sympathetic, understanding, hopefully considerate-sounding tone. She says, "I'm so sorry. That must be very difficult." or "That's awful that you were treated that way." or "Geez! I'd be angry about that, too."

Inside My Head Denise thinks that these words soothe troubled people and make them feel understood.

Real World Denise quickly discovers that this is not always the case. Sometimes words make people irritable. Sometimes words make people defensive. Sometimes words make people bored with me.

When Real World Denise discovers this, Inside My Head Denise jumps right in and says, "Don't worry. I can fix that with MORE WORDS!"

Inside My Head Denise wants to use words to be understood. She wants to use words to soothe woes. She wants to use words to inspire nations and cower her enemies. Inside My Head Denise will create a messy situation with words and suppose she can repair it with additional words. If words don't work, she'll think the defect is not enough words. Clearly the remedy is an increase of words.

Inside My Head Denise THINKS she understands people. Real World Denise gets slammed frequently for this gross misconception. Real World Denise spends too much time mopping up after Inside My Head Denise.