Dear Denise,
When you eat a lot of chocolate it makes you grouchy and mean. This makes the other humans want you to go away.
When the other humans get grouchy, they say reasonable things like this:
"Ugh! I can't even DEAL with ALL of THIS today!" and then they might slam a pen down on the desk.
When you get grouchy, you say UNreasonable things like this:
"Sweet Sister Francis! What is WRONG with ALL of you MORONIC PIGS? WHY WHY WHY in the NAME of ALL that is HOLY and GOOD in the WORLD would you FORCE me to TOLERATE your CEASELESS INANITY for MINUTES ON END??? If you were ANY smarter, you might be able to comprehend how STUPID you actually are! You make me want to rip off my own ears and stuff them into my eyes just to GET AWAY from the CONSTANT ONSLAUGHT of your UTTER and INCESSANT INCOMPETENCE!" and then you might threaten to run away from home to punish the world for their crimes against you.
There are several good reasons why you might regret this once you're off the chocolate:
1. Your mom doesn't deserve to be talked to like that.
2. Neither does the ATM.
3. Or the Compassionate Service Leader.
4. When you say these things, it makes the other humans want to throw heavy stuff at your head.
5. Several human rights groups might have grounds to take legal action against you.
So, in summary, Chocolate Makes You Grouchy, Grouchy Makes You Inhumane, Inhumane Makes You A Legal Liability.
Maybe you should switch over to Swedish Fish.
[photo from http://www.impactlab.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/grouchy-bear-495.jpg]
NOOOoooooo.... Not the Swedish fish! Actually, they're quite yummy. But they're not chocolate. Surely there is a brand / percent / non-zero dose that would alleviate symptoms? Perhaps it must be in a baked good for your system to tolerate it. I think some research is in order... ;)
ReplyDeleteHa ha :-) Good to know that I'm not the only one that excessive amounts of chocolate effects that way. Moderation I suppose. If Swedish Fish are the cure, I wonder what the effect of just a few swedish fish dipped in chocolate would be?
ReplyDelete