The One in Which I Explain How To Fake A Clean House

You probably keep a perfectly clean house. You probably never get behind in your cleaning or overwhelmed or find yourself too tired to do all the stuff that needs to be done. If that's the case, please go away. We don't want your kind around here.

For the rest of us mere mortals, please gather 'round and hear my wisdom. I will tell you my fakey shortcut for making your house look clean enough when you don't have enough time or energy or motivation to manage more than the essentials.

Here it is:

Dishes
Trash
Laundry
Beds

That's it. Tell your friends.

You want more details? I will give them now acuz I love you so much.

DISHES

Start with your dishes. I know you don't want to. I know you want to wait until last on this. Don't. You gotta do dishes first. If you get tired or run out of time or get distracted then you need to have your dishes done before any of that happens. I promise it will not take as long as you think it will take.

If you fill up your dishwasher and there are still more dishes, hand wash the rest and lay them to dry on a big towel on your counter.

A messy house with a clean kitchen looks like you are in the middle of a project. Maybe you're redecorating or re-arranging bedrooms or taking on some huge charity task.

A messy house with dirty dishes in the sink just looks like a messy house where nobody ever does any scrubbing. Gross.


TRASH

If you still have time and energy after the dishes, get rid of all the trash in the house. Pick up the trash on surfaces and throw it out. Take out your garbages and put in new bags. Trash around is cluttery and it's super fast to take it out of the house. This is an easy fix with big impact. It reduces visual clutter to the eye and makes the house look cleaner.

A stack of paperwork on your desk could be you getting an early start on your taxes. A stack of paperwork and soda cans, crumpled kleenexes, 12 weeks of old newspapers and a diaper tells your guests that you're turning into a hoarder and might need an intervention.

LAUNDRY

You're so excited. Your dishes are done. Your trash is all out of the way. Now if you're still up to more housework, we're gonna get those floors and couches and beds and hallways in your house cleared of laundry. You gotta get laundry out of the way.

Ideally, you could wash laundry while you're doing all the other work and then just fold and fold and fold at this point. But, maybe you have more laundry than that or maybe you didn't think of it before now. That's okay. We're working on Containment, not Completion.

Gather all the dirty laundry and get it into containers somewhere. You can sort it into cardboard boxes and then line those up. You can put it into laundry baskets. I want it in a container of some kind and I don't want the container to be overflowing up to the ceiling. Use as many containers as you need to so you can accomplish this.

Now, consider your time and energy. If you have time and energy, put away all the clean laundry. If you don't, then just fold it into squares and put it into containers so that it LOOKS like it's all ready to be put away. If you don't even have time and energy for that, then put it into containers (different ones from the dirty laundry containers, we don't need to create more housework for the future) and move it to the side of the room or, preferably, into a closet or laundry room.

With your dishes cleaned, your trash gone, and your clean and dirty laundry contained, you can now enjoy many, many more clean surfaces in your home.

Now you look like a person who regularly, without fail, does your dishes, cleans up your trash after yourself and tends to your laundry. Wow. Impressive.

BEDS

THIS is where the magic is. This is the thing that makes you look like you got it all together. You're gonna make all the beds in the house.

You don't have to put on new sheets. But, do make it look as nice as you have the time and energy to do. If you can only straighten the covers and pillows, do that. If you can get the comforter folded so lovely around all your mismatched pillowcases, even better. The bed is the star of any bedroom and a made bed draws the eye. So does an unmade bed. Which one do you want people to see?



Once these projects are done, I promise you will feel so much better about your house. There are no dirty dishes. There is no trash. There aren't clothes strewn everywhere. Your bedclothes are not flung around for all to see. So, what's left? Maybe some toys? Oh, you're a good parent who lets their kid play. Maybe some paperwork or mail? Oh, you must be right in the middle of sorting that. A hodge podge of stuff on your shelves and dresser? Oh, you must be re-arranging all those drawers or collecting items for the Salvation Army. See? There's a perfectly respectable explanation for all the picking up housework that's left.


If you're not able to do your regular housework for some time (maybe you have an illness, chronic pain, a new baby or you're working overtime for a few months) just getting these tasks done will prepare your house for drop in guests. In order to maintain your sanity for your own family, you would also want to do a bit of quick cleaning in your bathrooms a few times a week (I suggest more often than once a week so that it's not a gross task, it's just maintenance which is more pleasing to the mind and less likely to be postponed), but I wouldn't ask more of you than that during a difficult time.

Also, you've removed a lot of the visual clutter from your house and it's okay to have people in. Any *stuff* you have around looks like projects and it's acceptable to be a busy person and still receive guests. If you have stuff around because you are unmotivated and not because you are busy, you don't have to disclose that to your guests. But, doing these 4 tasks will greatly help your motivation when you feel overwhelmed.

These, incidentally, are also the 4 tasks I see to in someone else's home if I go to visit someone who is sick or to help out in some way. They can be done by an outsider because we all know how to wash dishes and take old soda cans to the trash and put laundry in a basket and make beds. Good stuff.


Okay, you perfect housekeepers can come back now. We're ready for you. *wink*

The One In Which I'm Feeling Both Patient and Impatient With People (also The One In Which I Spend a Lot of Time Telling You What You Think)

My son has high functioning autism.

You probably don't know what that is. And that's a problem.

See, hardly anybody knows what it is and the people that do know what it is all have different ideas of exactly how it looks and acts.

With my son, it very often appears that there's nothing wrong with him. He speaks well (really, really well) and he can understand anything you say to him (or pretend to.) But, he might seem awkward. Or clumsy. Or rude. Or self-centered. Or rebellious.

It is, of course, completely impossible to look like a good mom if your child has high functioning autism. If your child has autism and cannot speak or is obviously impaired in some way, people are understanding. They think that you must be doing your best. At least, this is what I hope people think if they see someone with an autistic child.

But, if your child has high functioning autism, your child can talk like other children, your child can learn like other children, your child can participate in any physical activity like other children. So, why should anyone believe that your child has a disability? The answer is: they don't.

What people think INSTEAD is that YOU are a horrible parent. What people think is, "I would NEVER let MY child get away with such and such." What you don't know is, "Nor Would I!" My child does NOT get away with things. But, my child is COMPLETELY unpredictable. The best thing that I can predict about him is that I won't be able to predict him.

So the answer to the question, "Why didn't you stop him from doing such and such before there was a problem?" is, "I didn't know there would be a problem. Last time he was fine. I have to allow him to do SOME things."

At a play audition this weekend, for example, we waited for 3 and a half hours through auditions and callbacks. My son was being a little quirky in his movements -- he always is (this is the usual tipoff for people who know something about autism), flapping his hands a little in excitement and running funny throwing his feet out to the side instead of behind him. But, otherwise, was connecting to the outside world fairly well.

Then I heard that the moment he walked into the audition room, something changed. Where other kids walked in and saw a room full of chairs and said, "Oh, here are the chairs, it must be time to sit in them." MY son saw something else. I'm not sure what. But, something said to him, "Here is a room full of chairs, I'm going to make a playground out of it" and he started running around the room and jumping up and down from the chairs.

So, now WHAT does he look like to the people running the audition??? He looks like a loony child, that's what he looks like. He looks like a child that has ADHD that's unmedicated. He looks completely uncontrollable.

If I'd been in the room, I would have told him, "Come sit here now" and he'd have done exactly what I'd said without a SYLLABLE of complaint. But, I wasn't supposed to be in the room. And, I didn't know that he was going to change the moment he walked through that door except that I know that it takes nothing at all to change him and so it's very probable that a change in the environment can change everything.

So the casting director felt he could not work with him. Of course he thought that. Who would want to cast an unmedicated hyperactive child in a play and babysit him through who knows WHAT behaviors for months at every rehearsal?

And I wouldn't even know how to advise him. It takes a while of watching and studying before you can begin to understand how much you don't understand about my son's behavior. You'll think you have it all down and he'll throw something new and weird at you. You'll think you've thought of everything, given him every rule that he could possibly need, but you didn't think you'd have to remind him to wear shoes. Or to put on pants. Or to not eat stuff that isn't food. Or to not get overly offended because he got up from his chair and walked across the room so someone else sat in his chair thinking it was free. You can't predict everything that his mind might come up with.

So, I feel impatient that no one knows anything about high functioning autism. I feel like people should know something and know what they are looking for. Please stop thinking that if I just did THIS punishment (soooooo many people have tried to tell me THEIR success stories about discipline. PLEASE. I use discipline. You cannot retrain the mind of an autistic child completely with discipline. You can make slow progress over a long time and you will not be successful in everything) or used THIS medication then he would be fine.

There IS NO MEDICATION FOR AUTISM. I am not being some stubborn mom who refuses to medicate my child. There is no medication. He looks hyperactive sometimes, but he's not. What he's doing is misinterpreting the situation. He didn't realize everyone else was sitting in the chairs. He didn't make note of the other people in the room at all. In his mind, those other people are stored in the same place as inanimate objects. He does not take his social cues from other people any more than you or I would look at a table in the room and decide that we, too, should get down on all fours and let people put their plates on us.

The easy solution is to give my son a guide. Someone who IS familiar with his situation who can instruct him in ways he understands. All he needs is someone to tell him, Sit here. We're not talking now. Now it's time to be still. And he'll do it. He's not rebellious. He's not hyperactive.

I would be this person. But, hovering stage moms are not popular so why would anyone want to work with me around? Especially when it's much much much easier to dismiss my child as a behavior problem and not work with him at all.

If my child had cerebral palsey and needed some additional consideration and perhaps the assistance of a parent, my guess is that the casting committee would find it charming to include such a child in their performance. But a child that seems to have a discipline problem is not charming. And telling people that he has autism, just makes it look like I'm making excuses for him.

I'm not. He CAN change in little, little ways. But it takes a LOT of concentration for him and sometimes he will get distracted and forget. And, he is a teenager, sometimes he might dismiss what I'm telling him and think he knows better. I do think that he should be disciplined if he does not do what he's told. If he's told by an adult or a person in charge to sit down and he does not -- his autism EXPLAINS IT but does not excuse it. There should be a consequence. If there is not, then he will not go through the EXTREME MENTAL EFFORT AND CONCENTRATION that it will take in the future to do things that do not make any sense to him.

I try to explain it to people this way:

If I told you that you need to talk backwards all day tomorrow and the next day and the next day and forever, you'd think I was crazy. You would never believe that there is ANY need for you to talk backwards and it would take a lot of effort and concentration for you to talk backwards. You would see NO down side to NOT talking backwards and you would see NO upside TO talking backwards. So, why would you do it?

This is how it is with my son. When I tell him he has to do things differently because it's causing him a problem, he thinks I'm crazy. He sees no problem, so why would he do things differently?

He doesn't notice that he has no friends. He doesn't notice that people get irritated with him (he CANNOT read your facial expressions or your tone of voice. If you don't tell him in words "I am angry with you" he WILL NOT KNOW. Ever.) He doesn't realize that he looks odd or rude or rebellious. He doesn't know.

So, I have to tell him and then I have to convince him. And as he gets older, he's more willing to believe me. Mostly because he's capable of comprehending more of the evidence.

I can tell him "Other people have friends that call them sometimes."
He says, "I have lots of friends, they don't call me because they don't have my phone number."

I tell him, "Other people make SURE to get their friends' phone numbers because they want to call them."
He says, "they probably forgot."

I say, "people don't forget to do that."

This is how I have to convince him that there is a NEED to change. If you see me doing this, you will think I am a cruel mother pointing out to my son so obviously that he has no friends. If I don't do this, you will think I am a horrible and neglectful mother who cannot find SOME way to change my child's behavior.

There is no way for the mother of a child with high functioning autism to look good. No matter how I handle it, YOU will think that there is SOME trick you have that would CURE the autism and make it all better. I promise you, there isn't.

So, what do I think about my son not being allowed to participate in things because of his behavior? (they also won't move him up a grade in school using his behavior as an excuse -- thus we homeschool. You will think that it's homeschooling that makes him weird. You are wrong. He actually received his diagnosis before he was EVER homeschooled. And he learns FAST. You have never met a child who learns so quickly. No, your nephew is not like that. No, he isn't.)

I don't know what to think. I wish people understood his disability and were willing to make a FEW adjustments (letting me be on hand to explain things to him in a way he understands, for instance) to accomodate him. I wish people understood ME and that we're not neglectful parents, we're just taking part in a slow process of improvement. (There is every reason to believe that he is capable of marrying and holding down a job and living on his own IF he gets to practice all these rules that he thinks there is no need for. Children with undiagnosed high functioning autism tend to live in their parent's basements for decades because they rub EVERYONE the wrong way and can't get more than one date or hold down a job.)

Also, I understand that people don't want to work with an unpredictable and unpleasant child. Why would you? Even the schools despise him and they are paid to tolerate all kinds of kids. I can't tell people, "do this and this and he'll be fine." because I never know if he'll be fine.

I don't disclose to everyone that he has autism because we've been advised by the experts not to. They say, if he knows we're telling everyone he has autism, he won't put in the work he needs to do to change and adjust to the world. He'll use the excuse also. He'll start telling people, "Oh, I have autism" instead of trying to adjust. Then he'll live in our basement alone for the rest of his life.

So, part of me says, "Geez, I know that other kids with disabilities get to do stuff that takes a LOT more accomodation than my child, how come no one is willing to just work with him the littlest bit?" and another part of me says, "Yeah, I get it. There's a group of typical children who want to do a typical thing and not have my weirdy son messing it all up with his unpredicability." Also, "I haven't told anyone he has autism and few people know anything about high functioning autism so they don't see it and wouldn't know what to do even if I did tell them." I get that he's not pleasant. I get that he's frustrating. I get that there is no magic cure for him. I get that he makes you crazy. He makes me crazy often, too.

And why should you have to put up with him? Why would you see any benefit to doing that? It's like I'm telling you that you need to talk backwards.

The One in Which Denise Posts The Fall Menu

I so enjoyed having my dinners taken care of for the whole summer that I want to do it again for fall.

I've changed the menu so that we have seasonally appropriate dishes and also so that we get some variety.

My husband is used to me cooking something different all the time. He says it's been an adjustment to switch to having the same 14 meals for 3 months. Realistically, however, most families do eat the same 15 meals again and again.

I love to try out new recipes and will watch the cooking network and get excited to try out new stuff. The problem with it is that it gets expensive. You have to go buy all new spices and veggies and whatnot for that one particular dish. There are a few things that I can make with the staples I already keep on hand, but it's unlikely that the new recipe that inspires me happens to have it's fixins already in my pantry and freezer.

Certainly, instead of making 6 each of the seasonal meals, you could come up with twice as many recipes (or combine the summer and fall menus) and only make 3 of each. Also, you could change around the spices on your basic dishes to change the flavor. Week One's beef kabobs could be mediterranean flavored and Week Three's could have asian inspired seasonings.

So, with our teeny grocery budget, the fall menu will rotate the following 13 meals(Sundays stay the same):


Monday:
Week One and Three - spaghetti
Week Two and Four - baked ziti

Tuesday:
Week One and Three - pizza roll ups
Week Two and Four - cheeseburger roll ups

Wednesday:
Week One and Three - beef stew
Week Two and Four - chicken and dumplings

Thursday:
Week One and Three - chicken noodle soup
Week Two and Four - mini meatball soup (also called wedding soup)

Friday:
Week One and Three - meatball subs
Week Two and Four - steak sandwiches

Saturday:
Week One and Three - beef kabobs and rice
Week Two and Four - chicken kabobs and rice

Sundays:
meatloaf


This menu contains a lot more crockpot meals than the summer menu mostly because I don't plan to be infirmed during the fall months like I had for the summer months. I can put a little more time into the prep on the day of the meal -- although I still want to keep it really simple.

KABOBS


For the kabobs, I'd like to try getting them all cooked and grilled in advance and cook the seasoned rice also and put it all into a disposable casserole dish to be heated in the oven before serving. I'll do a sample on this and make sure it doesn't turn out too tough. If it does, then I'll just get the seasonings prepped for the rice, get the kabobs skewered and marinated and then freeze the raw kabobs so they are ready to defrost and put on the indoor grill or under the broiler.


MEATLOAF



I plan to shape the meatloaves in advance and wrap them in saran (so they can keep their shape until frozen) and place them in a freezer bag with chopped stew vegetables. Then I'll put the whole thing frozen (minus the saran wrap) into the crockpot on Saturday night and place it in the fridge. On Sunday morning we need only place the crockpot into the base and turn it on before church. I think some frozen cornbread muffins defrosting on the counter would be delicious with this if I have the freezer space for that.

SPAGHETTI AND ZITI:



The ziti instructions are in the summer menus. It was a favorite so we're keeping it. The spaghetti we make new on the night we're serving it, with boxed pasta and canned sauce and meat. I might make up meatballs to toss in it if I have freezer space and time. Spaghetti is something my family loves so we have it often. I prefer to make my own sauce but it's more fuss and I'm not sure the family cares enough to make it worth the effort of doing it that way every time. Last night I stirred in a block of cream cheese that I'd purchased and frozen when it was on sale for $1. I cut off the foil wrap, defrosted and warmed it in the microwave while the pasta was cooking and then stirred it in with the spaghetti sauce to make creamy tomato pasta. The kids really liked it. The consistency of the cream cheese was not affected by freezing it.

MINI MEATBALL AND CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP:



I think for this I will get everything ready and cooked in broth so that the meatballs and chicken and veggies are already cooked through. Then I'll put it into a freezer bag, freeze it and warm it through with cooked rice or noodles to serve. I think if I added the rice or noodles in advance they would just get mushy soaking up all the sauce. This could be put in the crockpot to warm also and let the rice or noodles cook during the warming process.

STEW AND CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS:



These will get set up raw with seasonings and put into freezer bags. On the day of cooking, I'll dump the frozen contents into the crockpot, and add the broth. The dumplings will get added to the chicken and dumplings at the end. I make them from the bisquick recipe or you could use canned biscuits which keep in the fridge for a long time.

MEATBALL SUBS AND STEAK SANDWICH:




I'll make the meatballs up, cook them and freeze them in a freezer bag. I'll also freeze some well wrapped hoagie rolls for both sandwiches and cheese for both sandwiches. For the meatball subs, I'll pour jarred spaghetti sauce over the top and broil them with the cheese to melt.

For the steak sandwiches, I'll either prepare some strip steak on the grill and slice it and freeze it with onions and peppers, or I'll just freeze some roast beef lunch meat in the package and defrost it to assemble the sandwiches.

ROLL UPS:



The roll ups recipe is in the summer menu.


I think the fall menu will take up less space than the summer menu because it includes more freezer bags and fewer casserole dishes. This means a little more prep and clean up -- you need to put it into your crockpot instead of just sticking the whole casserole dish into your oven and then you need to clean your crockpot afterwards. Since I'm not using so many disposable casserole dishes this season, I could probably afford crockpot liners, but I'm also not nauseous this season so there's no reason to not be able to wash out a crockpot.

I do have breakfasts, lunches and snacks planned also, but have tried to make those from shelf items and not freezer items. If there is room, it'd be great to have muffins and cinnamon rolls in the freezer. The kids know that every afternoon they can open a package of cookies or a package of crackers as a snack. I try to keep snacks at $1 per pack and definitely not more than $2. My kids will eat a whole package of whatever I get in one afternoon.

This is a really lengthy post but I hope it might be useful to someone. It has been HEAVENLY to have dinners all done for the summer and it took me only a few little pockets of time over 3 weeks to get 3 months of meals prepared. The kids have had much peace knowing in advance what is for dinner. I KNOW this will be very handy when we're out having fun enjoying the fallidays and can come home to a hot meal in the crockpot. Makes me feel like I have a personal chef! :)

Home Preschool Open House August 30th 9am

I've decided to offer a home preschool program this year. Here are the particulars:


Monday Through Friday 9am - 11am

(if there is sufficient interest, I will also offer an afternoon program from 1pm - 3pm)

Our Sample Schedule is As Follows:

9am – 9:15 Circle Time

Welcome
Pledge and Devotional
Calendar
Weather
Social Skills and Manners

9:15 – 9:30 Singing and Choir Practice

Alphabet Song
Memorization Songs
Percussion Instruments
Choir Practice (we will hold a Choir Concert in the Winter and Spring)

9:30 – 9:45 Letters and Writing

Letter of the Week

Upper Case Recognition
Lower Case Recognition
Sounds
Matching Sounds to Objects
Writing the Letter

9:45 – 10:00 Numbers, Counting, Shapes and Colors

10:00 – 10:15 Crafts, Small Motor Skills

Craft Relating to Letters or Math
Small Motor Skills: scissors, crayons, pencils

10:00 – 10:15 Snack Time and Clean Up


10:15 – 10:30 Language Arts and Literature


10:30 – 10:45 Subject of the Day

Monday: History, Geography, World Cultures
Tuesday: Art Appreciation, Studying Specific Artists
Wednesday: Science and Health
Thursday: Reading Music, Intro to Piano
Friday: Intro to Spanish


10:45 – 11:00 PE, Tumble Time, Large Motor Skills


I've tried to set the times to coordinate with the morning and afternoon kindergarten program at Oakcrest Elementary. This schedule should allow you to drop off your kindergartener at school, drop off your preschooler, tend to your morning (or afternoon)and then pick up your preschooler and pick up your kindergartener.

I will accept ages 3 through 5. I will not have a diaper changing area so your child needs to be potty trained or able to be in a pull up or diaper for the duration of preschool time. The reason for this is primarily to allow for the maximum amount of learning time for all the students. As you can see, we'll be fitting a lot of fun and education into our short time together.

The cost for the program is $25 per week or $6 daily. There is a one time $10 registration and materials fee.

This year's program will run from September 7th through May 28th. I will have a list of our holiday and break schedule available at registration.

Please come with your child to our Preschool Open House on Monday, August 30th, from 9am - 10am. We'll talk about the program, answer questions and participate in some fun samples of our activities. Parents can mingle and network with one another to coordinate drop off and pick up stroller-pools.

I'm excited to work with you and your child this year!


To register, please send an email to:

NoMischief@gmail.com

Please specify the age of your child and whether you would prefer a morning or afternoon program. Please note that I will only offer the afternoon program if there is enough interest to do so.

Definitions of Pretty

From News Radio:

Beth:...You're pretty. You're very pretty in fact. But cute, I don't think so.

Lisa: Well I wasn't aware there was a difference.

Beth: Well of course there is a difference. Pretty means pretty. Cute means pretty but short and, or hyperactive-- like me!

Lisa: Uh huh. What is beautiful?

Beth: Beautiful means pretty and tall.

Lisa: Gorgeous?

Beth: Pretty with great hair.

Lisa: Striking?

Beth: Pretty with a big nose.

Lisa: OK, you're making this up.

Beth: That's ridiculous, why would I make it up?

Lisa: Sexy?

Beth: Pretty and easy.

Lisa: Exotic?

Beth: Ugly

The One in Which Sawyer and I Sew Monsters

With Ric gone in Arizona all week and Connor attending his first extended stay scout camp, we were a temporary family of 5 for 5 days.

Annalyn and Sawyer stayed in the room with me. That allowed me to wake up to cute stuff like this:





Sawyer had a birthday party to attend this week so we made a monster family to bring as a gift.

Sawyer helped sew on eyes and stuff the fluff:









Meet the Monsters:

This is Rosalind



Rosalind, her little brother Farnsworth and her beddy bear, Waverly.



Rosalind collects ladybugs and likes to pretend she's a podiatrist.

Farnsworth eats too much peanut butter. He never cheats at Hide and Seek.

Waverly wishes he could knit.

Day Date!

Had a fun day date with Ric yesterday to celebrate our anniversary. As anniversary celebrations go, it was sedate, but I enjoyed it. Ric and I both were having horrible allergy troubles today so a relaxing afternoon was just the thing.

We went to lunch at a restaurant we've never tried before, Star of India in Salt Lake City. They have a lunch buffet that was super tasty. We'd bought a Groupon for the restaurant so our buffet was only $10 for both of us. (which is actually a BIG splurge on our current budget!)

Naan bread and Raita:



Chicken Tikka, Chicken Curry and pumpkin before.....



and five minutes later. Nom!



Ric snarfs some Chicken Tandoori:



Love this anise and whatever that they have at Indian restaurants on your way out the door:




Went to Barnes and Noble and found these interesting titles:







While at Barnes and Noble, we sat in the cafe and played 5 Crowns. Thanks to Summer for teaching it to us -- we take our 2 decks of cards everywhere! We were both sneezing and sniffling copiously into our hankies at this time and I'm sure we looked diseased and infectious. I felt like Philadelphia and Ric joked that the management was going to force us to use a separate drinking fountain from the general public.

Ric found this book by my high school English teacher, Ms Toibin (pen name, Elizabeth George):



inside info which may be of interest to those who remember her:




Then over to the theater so we could FINALLY see Eclipse with the last of our movie gift card. My informal critique:

o They did not have as much fun with this movie as they did with the last. If you're going to make a movie about young teenagers, vampires and werewolves caught in a love triangle, you have to have some fun with it.

o I did like that they made the vampires glass-like so that the fight scenes were less grisly. I liked Victoria's red hair against the snow.

o I did not like that they showed such a disturbing scene of Jasper killing a child and did not show (as Ric said they ought) Jasper leaving that coven on his own even before meeting Alice. Made Jasper really unlikeable.

o I also did not like that a few of the scenes (a-hem the tent scene!!) felt rather porn-like in their convoluted efforts to put people in close proximity, alone, in odd and half dressed situations. Creepy! I thought this movie made Bella, Jacob and Edward all look like pretty horrible people.

o Bella looked ugly in most of the scenes with her hair flat and parted in the middle to elongate her face. In one scene she had her hair to the side and looked lovely and then quickly it changed for the rest of the scene. I wondered if they are trying to play down her appearance for this movie so they can play up the newer, *perfected* face that will need to show up in the next.

Found this at the theater:



But left it there because, as it turns out, I already own one just like it:



Then we returned home to severely medicate our disgusting sniffles. Sleep soon followed but not before I caught Ric up on a few more episodes of The Closer and he fixed the virus that showed up on my computer in our absence.

Happy Day!